To thecrazycatwoman

Dear Crazy Cat Woman,

I am so sorry that your sixth IVF failed, just days after you mourned an unfulfilled due date. You deleted your blog before I had time to leave a comment. Please know that I am so sorry for your loss, and still thinking of you and the babies you never met.

I know that sometimes you have to step away from it all, to get some distance and try to heal. Please know that this community will be waiting for you if you choose to return.

Thank-you for all your support and comments during the year.

Dandle.

Happiness today, Hope tomorrow

No Baby Ruth was kind enough to nominate me for the "happiness today, hope tomorrow" award, created by Miss Ruby. Her instructions are to acknowledge something that's making you smile and a hope for one amazing thing to bring you even more happiness. Then pass this award on to anyone who would benefit from looking at their life now and finding happiness in it..



Previous recipients of this award include:
non geordie mum
The life and times of KitVonD
All In One Basket
one donor. one husband. one month at a time.
Adventures in Infertility-Land
My Cheap Version of Therapy
Blawnde's Blawg
The Elusive Embryo
Little Looman Log
My words fly up, my thoughts remain below
Our Fertility Journey
Mommy-in-waiting...
Half as Many Chances
The Road Less Travelled
And Baby WILL Make 3!
Going For It
Time Well Wasted
phoebe gone wilde
Serenity in Chaos
No Baby Ruth: Playing Baseball Without a Bat

I enjoyed reading through their entries and learning about their current joys and wishes for the future. Common themes included

Things that make us happy...
Job
Community
Beauty
Friends
Family
Food
Pets
Travel
Rest
Autumn
Vacation
Play
Sports
Body
Health
Home

Our hopes for the future...
Pregnancy
Birth
Adoption
Travel
Relationships
Friends
Family
Home
Relocation

As for me, I am so happy to be married to such a wonderful person. My husband is the best part of my life, and makes me smile with joy. I am hopefully that I never lose perspective, and that I remember that no matter where life takes us, as long as we have each other we will make a beautiful family.

I am passing this award along to anyone who wants a bit of hope and happiness in their life.

Fertiles and Infertiles

About two weeks ago I was upset that Emma had got herself pregnant before I did. Now I have just heard that her latest ultrasound indicates that there might be something wrong. My heart breaks for her in this stressful situation, and I feel so ashamed that it took a misfortune such as this to knock some sense into me.

I had been reading a lot of infertility blogs, and it instilled into me a sense of “Me versus Them”. There were Infertiles, battling with conception, and then there were the Fertiles, walking through life as though it was a field of daisies.

My thinking was foolish and narrow minded. I had been discriminating against people based on their reproductive history. I was saying to people “you do not deserve to be happy because you had sex to get pregnant”. What an arbitrary way to distinguish between allies and enemies.

I am so glad that I found this fantastic community of Stirrup Queens. The understanding and support that has been given to me has been astonishing and nourishing. However, I realised that I had been replanting these seeds of compassion in a very small circle.

I see now that my infertility means that I can also empathise more with the exhausted single parent, the teacher diagnosed with diabetes, the anxious teen on their first day of school, the postman about to go into surgery, the dentist who is losing her hair.

We are not a world divided into Fertiles and Infertiles. We are a community of people who strive to cope. No one walks through this life unscathed. I have been so lucky to have wonderful people to listen to my story and offer encouragement. Hopefully one day I can return the favour, and show someone else that they are not alone in their struggle against the odds, whatever it happens to be.


{Day 14 of Stims: Lining 7.07mm. 7 follicles 14-20mm. E2 2395. Trigger 1:15 AM. Retrieval on Friday.}