As I type, 9 of my eggs are on a steamy first date with a few million of my husbands sperm. We, on the other hand, are lazing around on separate couches and letting conception occur in a very different manner to our usual style.
The day started a little bit stressfully. The fertility clinic is in the basement of the hospital and thus has no cell phone reception. My husband hadn't turned up yet, so I sent him a quick text to let him know they were prepping me in a few minutes. To do this I popped upstairs quickly, then down again, where a nurse found me and took me to my bed. My husband arrived, and the receptionist said that she saw me leave with a phone in my hand, and I had not returned. So the poor thing spent 20 minutes wandering round the hospital trying to find me, while I sat there on the hospital bed, trying to fasten a hospital gown behind me and failing miserably. Finally we were reunited and I cranked at him for being late and told him the Xanax had done nothing.
Then the very young looking guy cam in and told me that he would be part of my anesthetist team, and he would take some blood and get my drip going. He seemed very nervous, picking instruments up and then putting them down again and fastening my tourniquet too tight. He then inserted this impossibly long needle into the crook of my elbow, and pulled off the end, so I, predictably, began to bleed everywhere before he could attach a tube for blood collection. His incompetence was frightening me, so I just lay back on the bed and quietly cried while I waited to finish. After he had two tubes of blood in the vials and another two tubes on my skin, he asked me for a favour and if I could press down really hard on the impossibly long needle inside my vein. I said, no, I could not, and my husband kindly did it for me. He then asked me to lie very very still while he got some more tape. Finally he taped it all up and left us alone.
My husband comforted me as best he could, but I was not feeling very safe. He asked me what I was afraid of, and I told him I was afraid of the pain.
Soon it was time to go, and they wheeled me into the room while my husband had to stay behind. I then walked over to the chair with very leg rests. While they were putting on the heart-rate stickers, I started to shake with cold and anxiety. Once they gave me some oxygen and some meds in my IV, I started feeling a lot better. I became drowsy and then very sleepy, and I don't remember any pain, but I do remember every now and again them telling me to breathe deeply. I think I replied "sorry" or "thank-you" to this, but I'm not sure. I then told the guy that I was starting to feel more awake, and he told me that they had finished. I carefully moved onto my bed and I was rolled back to my room.
My husband said that I was very loud at this point, telling him that I was fine and it didn't hurt a bit and that I was okay. They also told me that they had gotten 9 eggs, and I was very happy with that number (my original goal had been 11).
After about 15 minutes the drugs wore off, and I was in a bit of pain. I told the nurse, and she said she would look for the doctor who knew what I'd had in the surgery and could tell her what she could give me now. We waited and waited, and no one showed up. The pain was getting much worse - severe cramps and sharp pains - and all I could do was wait. By this time I was crying with pain, and when the nurse came to see me next, she said it was probably just my full bladder. She told me to go to the bathroom, and once I had emptied my bladder she would give me something if it still hurt.
I hobble to the bathroom, and then sit there, in a great deal of pain, and unable to pee. I am sitting there crying and crying. Finally the nurse comes back and says that she will give me something anyway. About time.
Once she injects something into my drip, I start feeling a lot better. A few minutes later she comes back and brings me some chicken soup and some crispbread with apricot jam and Nutella. Even though my husband hasn't eaten himself yet, he helps me eat my soup and prepares my crispbread for me. Now I was feeling much more sprightly.
A while later, I pass their urination exam and note that my bladder was hardly bursting in the first place. We gingerly make our way home, and I am now camped out on the couch for the next three days.
I feel happy. We got more eggs than we had expected. I am in no pain, and the most physically grueling aspect of all this is over (apart from that little thing called childbirth if all goes perfectly). No more injections or blood draws for another two weeks.
Fertilitsation report tomorrow.