Thursday, 4 November 2010

FET#1: Cancelled

Oh yes, that word that is heard far too often in the Land of IF: "Cancelled".

Our poor little 6-celled embryo did not survive the thaw.

When the clinic rang this morning, I could tell by the tone of her voice that it wasn't good news. Then she confirmed this by saying "I am afraid that I don't have good news". I knew that we had a 40% chance of cancellation, as we only had one embryo to defrost. So this was not entirely unexpected.

But then she surprised me. She said that I had to have a meeting with The Professor before we started our next fresh cycle. I told her that, no, we just had a meeting with The Professor, and we had agreed on a new protocol for the fresh cycle. She told me, no, my file said that I had to have another meeting first. I told her that wasn't necessary. She told me it was. Fine, I said, and asked her when the next appointment was available.

December 23

That's seven weeks from now. I have to wait seven weeks to have a 10 minute conversation in which The Professor tells us what we already know. Look, I enjoy talking with The Professor as he is quite knowledgeable and can answer some of our questions. But I am not willing to wait seven weeks for the privilege. Last time we had the appointment, he had already reviewed our chart and determined a protocol. Nothing that we said changed this protocol. It was a reassuring meeting, but hardly medically necessary.

I am thinking of sending the clinic an email like this:

On September 23 we met with [The Professor] to discuss our treatment options. He told us that there was a 40% chance that our upcoming FET cycle would be cancelled due to the embryo failing to survive the thaw. We discussed our treatment options for the next fresh cycle if the FET cycle was unsuccessful. [The Professor] recommended an injectable GnRH-agonist instead of nasal buserelin, and the use of recombinant Gonal-F instead of urine-derived Menopur.

Today we learned that our FET cycle was cancelled because the embryo did not survive the thaw. However, I was told that we were required to wait another seven weeks for another meeting with [The Professor] before we can begin our next fresh cycle.

I understand that [Fertility Clinic] is a large and busy practise that deals with hundreds of patients every month. [The Professor] works many hours as an academic, a researcher, and a clinician. We appreciate the fact that he is very willing to take the time to meet with all of his patients one-on-one, and we understand that he meets with a large number of patients.

However, we do not feel that this appointment is strictly necessary, and we would love to be able to begin another fresh cycle as soon as possible. Is there any way that we could commence the next cycle earlier without having this appointment first? Or if a consultation appointment is essential, could we meet with another doctor in the clinic if they have an earlier slot available? We are also open to consultations via email or telephone.

What do you think? Am I over-reacting to a seven week wait? And how do I tell them that I don't want to wait for a consultation appointment, but I do want to ask them to add estrogen and sildenafil to my next cycle?


  1. Sorry the cycle had to be cancelled :( Is it possible for you to email the prof himself? I am sure he is a busy person, but maybe its worth a try?

    I think you are justified in sending this email to the clinic. After all, if a protocol has been decided, you might end up waiting for 7 weeks to be told "yes we can stick to what we discussed last time". Also, you could try calling again, and maybe you will get a nicer nurse on the phone? Maybe you could ask her to discuss it with the prof and let you know? I just throwing around some options...

    Hope you don't have to wait too long...

  2. I'm so sorry that your embryo didn't make it, even if it wasn't a complete surprise. :(

    I think it's ridiculous that you have to wait that long for a 10 minute appointment. A new patient consultation maybe, but not a short one. I think it's worth saying something - whether with the letter or trying with another phone call, as someone else suggested.

  3. Well, shit. That really sucks (both the cancellation and the stupid seven week wait).

    I would push your clinic a little- chances are the nurse is following protocol and wasn't listening when you said that you've already had the meeting.

    Also, with regards to adding estrogen- my clinic does this for IVF as a matter of course. I take Estrace twice a day for a fresh cycle, and SIX times a day to build up the lining for a frozen. My f/s kept me on it until I hit the 12 week mark.

    Thanks for the comment on my blog about my weight fears. I know you're right- it is just hard to see that scale move!

  4. Oh I am so sorry your FET is canceled. How frustrating. And even more frustrating that they are making you wait that long to have an appointment that you already had. I think send the letter. Hopefully they will realize it is a pointless meeting.

  5. So sorry the cycle got cancelled :( And the waiting lines are really annoying. I would try to call and ask for the professor I think. And if that doesn't help, send the email. Hugs!

  6. So sorry for your loss. I would 1)call and try to get one of the nurses u know and have a rapport with on the phone 2)call from another phone# and not say who I am and casually ask for the Prof's "voicemail", that way u could leave him a message in ur own voice 3)I would send the e-mail, but I'd make it a tad shorter cuz people like to read short ones. Hugs,friend.

  7. What are they trying to do? Torture you? Is it possible to speak to the doctor directly, on the phone? Or you could try speaking to a different nurse and maybe you'll get a different answer? Personally I'd try calling once more as it's too easy for emails to be ignored or left until "later" and I would want a solution NOW. If this doesn't feel right for you though, send the email. I really hope you can solve this.

    Sorry to hear about the unsuccessful thaw. :-(

  8. I'm so, so sorry to hear about the cancelled cycle. I've been there - just awful!

    You are completely, 100% justified in sending that email!! Or phoning back and asking to speak to someone else! Or asking to check your file to see if the record of your last appt with the prof has been lost!!!

  9. oh man that just blows. maybe you can somehow turn up one day adament that your appointment was on that day and he has to see you? Do a bit of a fakey.
    i am really sorry that it didn't defrost properly. Big huge fat hugs. I wish i could make your pain just disappear.

  10. I'm so sorry this cycle was cancelled. How heartbreaking. A seven week wait is unacceptable and your email seems very appropriate. It's shocking to me how people in the field would think that is ok. We aren't talking about getting your teeth cleaned which clearly can wait. This can't!

  11. Sorry your FET was disappointing! I would send that e-mail to the clinic shouldn't have to wait that long especially since you are a current patient.

  12. No way should you have to wait again! Hope you can get the Professor to see you much sooner.

  13. Oh I'm so sorry to hear that you were cancelled.

    I hope you can work something out with your doctor so you don't have to wait so long to get started. Seven weeks is unacceptable. It's almost the equivalent of an entire IVF cycle including the birth control pills!

    My recent post:

  14. Oh my dear I am so sorry about your cancellation. What a crusher. To move back to the starting gate is a very hard move.

    Personally, I would call the clinic and raise holy hell. Unacceptable.

    A little compassion people.

    Your letter is very well written. I think a little more *oomph* might help but then again I am rather argumentative...