Yesterday was the first day of Menopur shots. Considering that I ovulated on day 9 last time, they have cut my dose in half. So I take half an ampule each night, keeping the other half in the fridge until the next night. My husband is doing a wonderful job mixing everything together and giving me the injections.
Protocol:
CD2-CD7: ~37.5 IU Menopur
CD8: Ultrasound and bloodwork - Menopur dose as advised
CD9-17: Possible ultrasounds and bloodwork - Menopur dose as advised
It has now been two years since I started ovulating again after eleven years of hormonal contraception. Twenty six cycles, twenty six ovulations, twenty six thermal shifts. Fertility friend tells me that my second year-long VIP membership will expire next month. Do I sign up for another twelve months?
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Monday, 15 March 2010
IUI#4 CD1
Our insurance approved the injectables for IUI#4, so we start with low doses of Menipur tomorrow. I go in next week for my first scan.
It has now been over five months since my laparoscopy, and the surgeon said that the adhesions start to grow back after six months. After this cycle, we will not be attempting any more IUIs, and will start preparing for IVF.
Our lives have really settled down recently, we both have stable jobs, and we have a spare room that would look perfect as a nursery. For so long I have been able to tell myself that it wasn't really the bset time to have a child anyway, but now I think that this December might be an excellent month for us. I am very glad, however, that we started trying two years ago when our lives were all over the place, so we're not starting at square one today.
It has now been over five months since my laparoscopy, and the surgeon said that the adhesions start to grow back after six months. After this cycle, we will not be attempting any more IUIs, and will start preparing for IVF.
Our lives have really settled down recently, we both have stable jobs, and we have a spare room that would look perfect as a nursery. For so long I have been able to tell myself that it wasn't really the bset time to have a child anyway, but now I think that this December might be an excellent month for us. I am very glad, however, that we started trying two years ago when our lives were all over the place, so we're not starting at square one today.
Friday, 26 February 2010
Yes, I would like a child, please.
After some serious contemplation, I have decided that, yes, I really truly want to raise a child with my husband. These are the sort of events that I would love to experience in my life:
Even if we do have a child, there is no guarantee that we will experience any of these moments. How do you decide to welcome a new person into your home that you have never met? How do you decide that the benefits outweigh the risks? Mel wrote about this leap into darkness a few days ago:
With this confirmed desire, I called the fertility clinic to schedule our next IUI. However, I learned that this cycle needs to be pre-approved by our health insurance, which means a delay of at least another month. So more waiting and day dreaming for me.
- Dressing our baby up like a bear.
- Seeing them asleep in my arms.
- Helping them assemble a rock/stick/leaf/shell/etc collection.
- Make them laugh.
- Reading to them and seeing their imagination soar.
- Listening in awe as they speak a second language.
- Seeing their faces as they discover new places.
- Creating new family traditions together.
- Involving them in making family decisions.
- Helping them figure out how the world works.
- Doing my best to answer the question "why?".
- Making a train-shaped birthday cake.
- Watching the private world that they create with other children.
- Learning from their unique insight and experiences.
- Watching their personality develop into a whole new person.
Even if we do have a child, there is no guarantee that we will experience any of these moments. How do you decide to welcome a new person into your home that you have never met? How do you decide that the benefits outweigh the risks? Mel wrote about this leap into darkness a few days ago:
I think it’s brave to put your heart out there, to want something so badly, to allow your entire being to get wrapped up in the potential life of another person. If we make that leap to love a partner or family member or friend, we do so knowing that person, having met them, knowing our compatibility or history. But when we put our entire heart into the idea of a child, we do that bravely. Without answers or information or sometimes even a true understanding of what it will be like to parent.
With this confirmed desire, I called the fertility clinic to schedule our next IUI. However, I learned that this cycle needs to be pre-approved by our health insurance, which means a delay of at least another month. So more waiting and day dreaming for me.
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Will we be happier with a child?
Having children is a life changing event. Suddenly, there will be this new person in our family. My husband asked me to take a moment to stop and really think about if I truly want a child, or if I am just getting mission-orientated.
Julie addressed the question of "is it worth it?", and one commenter wrote:
So I am taking a few days to line up the pros and the cons of bringing a child into our family. Here are the most commonly cited reasons for having children or being childfree:
I also ploughed through the literature on happiness, marital satisfaction, and freedom in parents, the involuntary childless, and the voluntarily childfree. It appears that parents and voluntarily childfree couples are as happy as each other, and are both happier than the involuntary childless. Some studies suggest that marital satisfaction may be slightly lower for parents than for voluntarily childfree couples. Mothers state that they have less relaxation, independence, and freedom than voluntary childfree couples.
(a) = close ties to their adult children (standardized to 0)
(b) = distant ties to their adult children
1. Magarick, RH & Brown, RA. 1981. Social and emotional aspects of voluntary childlessness in vasectomized childless men. J. biosoc. Sci.13, 157-167
2. Burman, B & de Anda, D. 1986. Parenthood or Nonparenthood: A Comparison of Intentional Families. Lifestyles: A Journal of Changing Patterns. 8, 2, pp. 69-84
3. Callan, VJ. 1987. The Personal and Marital Adjustment of Mothers and of Voluntarily and Involuntarily Childless Wives. Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 49, No. 4, pp. 847-856
4. Somers, MD. 1993. A Comparison of Voluntarily Childfree Adults and Parents. Journal of Marriage and Family, 55, pp. 643-650
5. Connidis, Arnet I., McMullin, JA. 1993. To have or have not: Parent status and the subjective well-being of older men and women. The Gerontologist; 33, 5; pp. 630-640
6. Schwerdtfeger, Kami L. and Shreffler, Karina M.(2009) 'Trauma of Pregnancy Loss and Infertility Among Mothers and Involuntarily Childless Women in the United States', Journal of Loss and Trauma, 14: 3, 211 — 227
7. Feldman, H. 1981. A Comparison of Intentional Parents and Intentionally Childless Couples Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 43, No. 3, pp. 593-600
8. Ramu, GN. 1984. Family Background and Perceived Marital Happiness: A Comparison of Voluntary Childless Couples and Parents The Canadian Journal of Sociology / Cahiers canadiens de sociologie, Vol. 9, No. 1, pp. 47-67
9. Lawrence, E, Rothman, AD, Cobb, RJ, Rothman, MT, Bradbury, TN
2008. Marital satisfaction across the transition to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology. Vol 22(1), Feb 2008, 41-50.
Julie addressed the question of "is it worth it?", and one commenter wrote:
This one is tough for me, too. And it's tough because, as much as I truly, madly, deeply love my children, I now realize how much of my own life--a life I really loved--I gave up in being a parent. I miss that life. And I sometimes think that if I didn't get the diagnosis "Infertile," if it had felt like a free choice and not a need to prove something to myself (I'm classic overachiever; having children was the one thing I couldn't 'get right'), maybe I would have made the decision to be childless. And maybe I would have been equally happy, or even happier. That's a hard truth to face.
So I am taking a few days to line up the pros and the cons of bringing a child into our family. Here are the most commonly cited reasons for having children or being childfree:
| Reasons to have children | Reasons to be childfree |
| An additional way to express love for spouse | Less global overpopulation |
| Increased closeness with friends with children | More energy and fewer illnesses |
| More fulfillment and meaning to life | More freedom and spontaneity |
| The experience of parenthood | More money |
| The opportunity to provide and receive love | More privacy |
| The pleasure and pride of raising children | More sleep |
| To develop personally by interacting with children | More time for hobbies |
| To have a relationship with children | More time to develop career |
| To transmit ones own ideals and beliefs | More time with adult friends |
| More time with spouse | |
| No problems associated with children |
I also ploughed through the literature on happiness, marital satisfaction, and freedom in parents, the involuntary childless, and the voluntarily childfree. It appears that parents and voluntarily childfree couples are as happy as each other, and are both happier than the involuntary childless. Some studies suggest that marital satisfaction may be slightly lower for parents than for voluntarily childfree couples. Mothers state that they have less relaxation, independence, and freedom than voluntary childfree couples.
| Outcome | Sex | Parents | Involuntarily childless | Voluntarily childfree | Ref |
| Well-being | M | 47.8 | not included | 45.0 | 1 |
| Life satisfaction | both | not included | 3.5 | 2 | |
| Global well-being (1-9) | F | 6.44 | 6.28 | 7.06 | 3 |
| My life is disappointing (1) to rewarding (7) | F | 5.42 | 4.68 | 5.18 | 3 |
| Satisfaction with personal success (1-9) | F | 5.94 | 5.50 | 6.37 | 3 |
| Life satisfaction | both | 23.7 | not included | 25.2 | 4 |
| Happiness | both | 0 (a) | -0.17 | -0.14 | 5 |
| -0.18 (b) | |||||
| Depression | both | 0 (a) 0.05 (b) | 0.09 | 0.07 | 5 |
| Life satisfaction | both | 0 (a) -0.30 (b) | -0.46 | -0.22 | 5 |
| Depression | F | 1.68 | 1.73 | not included | 6 |
| Life satisfaction | F | 3.18 | 2.89 | not included | 6 |
| Marital satisfaction | M | 33.0 | not included | 31.7 | 1 |
| Marital satisfaction | both | 5.95 | not included | 6.00 | 7 |
| Positive marital interactions | both | 3.49 | not included | 4.32 | 7 |
| Unhappy with marriage | both | 7.4% | not included | 0% | 8 |
| Marital satisfaction (1-5.7) | both | 4.50 | not included | 4.75 | 2 |
| Satisfaction with marriage (1-9) | F | 6.96 | 7.84 | 7.37 | 3 |
| Marital satisfaction | both | 91.9 | not included | 93.6 | 4 |
| Marital satisfaction (6-45) | F | 38.2 | not included | 40.0 | 9 |
| Marital satisfaction (6-45) | M | 37.6 | not included | 38.8 | 9 |
| Amount of relaxation in life (1-9) | F | 4.26 | 5.81 | 5.28 | 3 |
| Amount of independence and freedom (1-9) | F | 4.90 | 6.69 | 6.46 | 3 |
| Amount of friendship and love in life (1-9) | F | 6.72 | 7.43 | 6.90 | 3 |
| Satisfied with childbearing decision | both | 3.87 | not included | 3.73 | 2 |
(b) = distant ties to their adult children
1. Magarick, RH & Brown, RA. 1981. Social and emotional aspects of voluntary childlessness in vasectomized childless men. J. biosoc. Sci.13, 157-167
2. Burman, B & de Anda, D. 1986. Parenthood or Nonparenthood: A Comparison of Intentional Families. Lifestyles: A Journal of Changing Patterns. 8, 2, pp. 69-84
3. Callan, VJ. 1987. The Personal and Marital Adjustment of Mothers and of Voluntarily and Involuntarily Childless Wives. Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 49, No. 4, pp. 847-856
4. Somers, MD. 1993. A Comparison of Voluntarily Childfree Adults and Parents. Journal of Marriage and Family, 55, pp. 643-650
5. Connidis, Arnet I., McMullin, JA. 1993. To have or have not: Parent status and the subjective well-being of older men and women. The Gerontologist; 33, 5; pp. 630-640
6. Schwerdtfeger, Kami L. and Shreffler, Karina M.(2009) 'Trauma of Pregnancy Loss and Infertility Among Mothers and Involuntarily Childless Women in the United States', Journal of Loss and Trauma, 14: 3, 211 — 227
7. Feldman, H. 1981. A Comparison of Intentional Parents and Intentionally Childless Couples Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 43, No. 3, pp. 593-600
8. Ramu, GN. 1984. Family Background and Perceived Marital Happiness: A Comparison of Voluntary Childless Couples and Parents The Canadian Journal of Sociology / Cahiers canadiens de sociologie, Vol. 9, No. 1, pp. 47-67
9. Lawrence, E, Rothman, AD, Cobb, RJ, Rothman, MT, Bradbury, TN
2008. Marital satisfaction across the transition to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology. Vol 22(1), Feb 2008, 41-50.
Monday, 15 February 2010
Not pregnant, but alive
I caught two trains in Belgium today to get to the fertility clinic - one at 7:30, the other at 9:30. On my way back, the train was travelling very slowly, and I noticed several men in bright yellow vests walking along the other tracks. As it was snowing quite heavily, I thought nothing of it.
Then on I saw the news item "25 dead in train crash outside Brussels" flash across my desktop. My husband was also due to catch a train that morning, and I had not heard from him since I left the house. My hands were shaking as I called his work, and I was so happy to hear his voice on the other end. He had not heard about the crash, and once I told him the news, he was so glad that I was okay, too.
While I was on the phone with him, I got the call from the clinic telling me that I was not pregnant, and they suggest one last shot at IUI with injectable Menopur.
But all in all, I feel extremely lucky today.
Then on I saw the news item "25 dead in train crash outside Brussels" flash across my desktop. My husband was also due to catch a train that morning, and I had not heard from him since I left the house. My hands were shaking as I called his work, and I was so happy to hear his voice on the other end. He had not heard about the crash, and once I told him the news, he was so glad that I was okay, too.
While I was on the phone with him, I got the call from the clinic telling me that I was not pregnant, and they suggest one last shot at IUI with injectable Menopur.
But all in all, I feel extremely lucky today.
Monday, 1 February 2010
Endometrium thickness
Does clomid really thin out the lining more than injectables? The literature says that it only does this when taken on its own, but not when supplemented with estrogen.
From Dickey and Holtkamp, Human Reproduction Update 1996, Vol. 2, No. 6 pp. 483–506
Does endometrium thickness affect IUI outcome? Yes, significantly (p < 0.01). IUI birth rates per cycle for endometrium thickness at time of HCG trigger:
From Dickey and Holtkamp, Human Reproduction Update 1996, Vol. 2, No. 6 pp. 483–506
At my scan yesterday (CD14) my endometrium thickness was 6.9 and my dominant follicle measured 19.6. We triggered last night, and the IUI is today. Looking over my last three cycles, I analysed my data and saw that, while Menopur thickened my lining more quickly, I also ovulated earlier at CD9. For all three cycles, my lining is around the same thickness right before ovulation, and it is far below average. At least this time it's above 6, which means we have a shot.
From Dickey and Holtkamp, Human Reproduction Update 1996, Vol. 2, No. 6 pp. 483–506 Does endometrium thickness affect IUI outcome? Yes, significantly (p < 0.01). IUI birth rates per cycle for endometrium thickness at time of HCG trigger:
| Regimen | 6 mm or less | 6 to 8 mm | 8 mm or greater |
| Clomid | 0% | 7.0% | 14.0% |
At my scan yesterday (CD14) my endometrium thickness was 6.9 and my dominant follicle measured 19.6. We triggered last night, and the IUI is today. Looking over my last three cycles, I analysed my data and saw that, while Menopur thickened my lining more quickly, I also ovulated earlier at CD9. For all three cycles, my lining is around the same thickness right before ovulation, and it is far below average. At least this time it's above 6, which means we have a shot.
Friday, 29 January 2010
IUI#3 CD12
I do love having my cycles monitored. I love graphs and tracking my numbers and knowing exactly what is happening. I like knowing what my ovaries are up to and how everything is progressing.
However, our clinic is not very empowering in that respect. They never tell me my hormone levels, and I have to quickly memories my ultrasound numbers as they appear on the screen. Today I asked the midwife what the procedure is, if we decide to move onto IVF. Her response was "you do not decide to move onto IVF, the professor will decide." She went on the explain that for IVF to be covered by the Belgian health care system, patients generally must try three IUIs first.
We are lucky to live in one of the few countries that provides six cycles of IVF to most residents. It pays for this cost by mandating that many of these must be single embryo transfers, which decreases the number of multiples born, and thus lowers the higher costs associated with multiples. The savings made on decreased newborn intensive care usage pays for the cost of providing IVF.
IVF coverage in Belgium:
As for me, my dominant left follicle is still only at 13 mm, and my lining is still only 5.3 mm. Moving very slowly this time around. I'm guessing the IUI might be on Wednesday? We shall see.
However, our clinic is not very empowering in that respect. They never tell me my hormone levels, and I have to quickly memories my ultrasound numbers as they appear on the screen. Today I asked the midwife what the procedure is, if we decide to move onto IVF. Her response was "you do not decide to move onto IVF, the professor will decide." She went on the explain that for IVF to be covered by the Belgian health care system, patients generally must try three IUIs first.
We are lucky to live in one of the few countries that provides six cycles of IVF to most residents. It pays for this cost by mandating that many of these must be single embryo transfers, which decreases the number of multiples born, and thus lowers the higher costs associated with multiples. The savings made on decreased newborn intensive care usage pays for the cost of providing IVF.
IVF coverage in Belgium:
| age | IVF 1 to 2 | IVF 3 to 6 |
| Less than 36 years | single embryo transfer | two embryo transfer |
| 36 to 39 years | two embryo transfer | three embryo transfer |
| More than 39 years | three embryo transfer | three embryo transfer |
As for me, my dominant left follicle is still only at 13 mm, and my lining is still only 5.3 mm. Moving very slowly this time around. I'm guessing the IUI might be on Wednesday? We shall see.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
IUI#3 CD10
I was randomised to clomid this cycle (clomiphene citrate CD3 to CD7, estrogen CD8 to CD12), and as I had some at home that meant that I didn't have to go into the clinic until today. The midwife who was taking my blood looked so young that I was worried that she would be incompetent. I think however the problem was that I am getting old, because she was fabulous. In fact, she coaxed out so much of my blood that I didn't realise that I was continuing to leave little drops of the stuff over the chair and floor of the waiting room. I was so embarrassed to have to get one of the midwives to clean it up for me. Still, better that than leaving human blood around the place.
My follicles seem to be ripening more slowly this time around. Last CD10 with clomid my dominant follicle was at 16 mm, but this time around it is only 11.7 mm. This is great, because I need time for my endometrial lining to thicken up. My lining is only 3.7 mm, the thinnest it has ever been at CD10 - it's gone from 7.6 mm (IUI#1 Menopur) to 4.8 mm (IUI#2 Clomid) to 3.7 mm (IUI#3 Clomid). I have been reading through the literature, and it really needs to be at least 7 mm on the day of the HCG trigger for a good chance of success.
The good news is that the dominant follicle is on my left ovary with the good tube. I should know more when I hear from the midwife this afternoon, but my guess is that I will have another scan in two days (CD12) and that the IUI will be on Monday (CD15).
My follicles seem to be ripening more slowly this time around. Last CD10 with clomid my dominant follicle was at 16 mm, but this time around it is only 11.7 mm. This is great, because I need time for my endometrial lining to thicken up. My lining is only 3.7 mm, the thinnest it has ever been at CD10 - it's gone from 7.6 mm (IUI#1 Menopur) to 4.8 mm (IUI#2 Clomid) to 3.7 mm (IUI#3 Clomid). I have been reading through the literature, and it really needs to be at least 7 mm on the day of the HCG trigger for a good chance of success.
The good news is that the dominant follicle is on my left ovary with the good tube. I should know more when I hear from the midwife this afternoon, but my guess is that I will have another scan in two days (CD12) and that the IUI will be on Monday (CD15).
Monday, 18 January 2010
IUI#3
New year, new IUI cycle. After a lovely vacation and break, it will soon be time to get back on the Assisted Reproductive Technology horse. Yes, I am still involved in the clinical trial, and yes, we have two more IUIs planned before we move on. The plan is:
February: IUI #3
March: IUI #4
April: Break and vacation
May/June: IVF #1
July: Break
August/September: FET/IVF#2
By this time, the theoretical success rate will be over 50%, and hopefully we will be part of that proportion.
Otherwise, we are just taking things month by month. We do not make any long term plans that we would have to change in the event of pregnancy. I try to schedule as many meetings at work in the afternoon, just in case I have to spend the morning at the fertility clinic. My calendar is divided into 28-day increments. I take my daily pre-natal tablet, as I have been doing for the past two years.
As long my husband and I have each other, we will be okay. For the moment, I am his baby and he takes care of me. He makes sure that I am taking care of myself, and that I have plenty of indulgences.
February: IUI #3
March: IUI #4
April: Break and vacation
May/June: IVF #1
July: Break
August/September: FET/IVF#2
By this time, the theoretical success rate will be over 50%, and hopefully we will be part of that proportion.
Otherwise, we are just taking things month by month. We do not make any long term plans that we would have to change in the event of pregnancy. I try to schedule as many meetings at work in the afternoon, just in case I have to spend the morning at the fertility clinic. My calendar is divided into 28-day increments. I take my daily pre-natal tablet, as I have been doing for the past two years.
As long my husband and I have each other, we will be okay. For the moment, I am his baby and he takes care of me. He makes sure that I am taking care of myself, and that I have plenty of indulgences.
Monday, 4 January 2010
2009 and 2010
Well, our second IUI did not result in a pregnancy. Even though 2009 we may not have succeeded in getting pregnant in 2009, it was still a wonderful year. In my opinion it is much harder to find the perfect spouse than the perfect baby. As long as I have my husband by my side, I am content to wait for a bit longer to expand our family.
Last year we got the ball rolling, started our journey into assisted reproductive technology. We are now in the system, and hopefully a series of injections and probes this year will finally flip the odds in our favour.
Last year we got the ball rolling, started our journey into assisted reproductive technology. We are now in the system, and hopefully a series of injections and probes this year will finally flip the odds in our favour.
Monday, 7 December 2009
IUI #2 insemination
We had our second artificial insemination yesterday. I was sitting in the procedure room, half naked with a towel draped over me for modesty, hoping that my bladder was just full enough. A well dressed woman comes into the room, wearing a short black dress, black stockings, and long black boots. She is holding a tube of sperm, and wants us to read the label to make sure it is correct. We confirm that those are our names, and then she asks me to put my legs up in the stirrups. I realise that she is the doctor!
I suddenly feel very embarrassed and nervous. I am getting accustomed to medical people in scrubs seeing me half naked, but this woman doesn't look a bit like a doctor. Here I am, legs splayed with everything on display, in front of a woman who looks like she's about to go out on a dinner date. I am so flummoxed I forget to ask any questions about sperm numbers or quality.
The IUI itself was a bit painful, but it was over very quickly. Happily, they did not play any love ballads for us while we rested for 15 minutes. They even let me keep an ultrasound picture of the sperm cells entering my uterus (the white dot in the center-right of the picture).
I must say, I am really glad that I have a break from the three-hour round trip to the hospital, the blood draws, and anxiously waiting for the phone to ring between 2pm and 5pm each day. We are taking a break cycle after this one, so we have six weeks of rest and relaxation.
I suddenly feel very embarrassed and nervous. I am getting accustomed to medical people in scrubs seeing me half naked, but this woman doesn't look a bit like a doctor. Here I am, legs splayed with everything on display, in front of a woman who looks like she's about to go out on a dinner date. I am so flummoxed I forget to ask any questions about sperm numbers or quality.
The IUI itself was a bit painful, but it was over very quickly. Happily, they did not play any love ballads for us while we rested for 15 minutes. They even let me keep an ultrasound picture of the sperm cells entering my uterus (the white dot in the center-right of the picture).
I must say, I am really glad that I have a break from the three-hour round trip to the hospital, the blood draws, and anxiously waiting for the phone to ring between 2pm and 5pm each day. We are taking a break cycle after this one, so we have six weeks of rest and relaxation.
Saturday, 5 December 2009
IUI#2 CD12
CD3-CD7 50mg Clomid
CD8-CD11 Estrogen
CD8 Disappointingly, the dominant follicle is on my right ovary, the one with the partly blocked tube. The follicle is 12.7 mm, and my lining is very thin at 3.4 mm, only 0.35 more than at CD3.
CD10 Dominant follicle at 16mm, lining at 4.8 mm (compared to 7.6mm when I was on Menopur)
CD11 Dominant follicle now ripe at 19mm, but lining only 5.78mm (triple stripe pattern). We trigger with HCG at 11pm. The needle injection hurts.
I have been extremely irritable lately, and my poor husband has had to bare the brunt of it all. He also has this thing about me taking personal responsbility for my actions, so I can't get away with just yelling at him and then blaming it on the drugs. Perhaps they could also percscribe some valium so that I could glide serenely through the days, instead of feeling my blood boil at every minor hindrance.
If this cycle doesn't work, then we will take a month break over Christmas, and then one to two more IUI cycles. If I am still not pregnant, we will move onto IVF. I am ambivilent towards IVF. On the one hand, there will be more medications and drugs and operations. On the other hand, I no longer have to worry about adhesions and blocked tubes, and our chances of success go from 10% to 40% per cycle.
These past IUI cycles have been odd. After so many months of privately monitoring my cycles with temperatures and LH cycles, I am surprised to find a team of midwives now working with me, and wishing me "good luck". I do appreciate the support, and the extra monitoring and knowledge, but the endless blood draws and commuting to the hospital are exhausting. And these area just the IUIs - we haven't even gotten to the hard stuff yet. I hope that all this does not last for longer than it has to.
We go in for the IUI tomorrow at noon. Either way, no injections for at least six weeks. Fingers crossed.
CD8-CD11 Estrogen
CD8 Disappointingly, the dominant follicle is on my right ovary, the one with the partly blocked tube. The follicle is 12.7 mm, and my lining is very thin at 3.4 mm, only 0.35 more than at CD3.
CD10 Dominant follicle at 16mm, lining at 4.8 mm (compared to 7.6mm when I was on Menopur)
CD11 Dominant follicle now ripe at 19mm, but lining only 5.78mm (triple stripe pattern). We trigger with HCG at 11pm. The needle injection hurts.
I have been extremely irritable lately, and my poor husband has had to bare the brunt of it all. He also has this thing about me taking personal responsbility for my actions, so I can't get away with just yelling at him and then blaming it on the drugs. Perhaps they could also percscribe some valium so that I could glide serenely through the days, instead of feeling my blood boil at every minor hindrance.
If this cycle doesn't work, then we will take a month break over Christmas, and then one to two more IUI cycles. If I am still not pregnant, we will move onto IVF. I am ambivilent towards IVF. On the one hand, there will be more medications and drugs and operations. On the other hand, I no longer have to worry about adhesions and blocked tubes, and our chances of success go from 10% to 40% per cycle.
These past IUI cycles have been odd. After so many months of privately monitoring my cycles with temperatures and LH cycles, I am surprised to find a team of midwives now working with me, and wishing me "good luck". I do appreciate the support, and the extra monitoring and knowledge, but the endless blood draws and commuting to the hospital are exhausting. And these area just the IUIs - we haven't even gotten to the hard stuff yet. I hope that all this does not last for longer than it has to.
We go in for the IUI tomorrow at noon. Either way, no injections for at least six weeks. Fingers crossed.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
IUI#2 Day 3
Three days ago.
"An exciting day today, yes?" The nurse asked me while taking my blood.
"Well, it is a rainy day" I answered. I didn't have the heart to tell he that I had already taken a home pregnancy test and recieved a negative result. She just seemed so excited, and then so disappointed when she called me at 4:02pm to tell me the result.
But the good thing is we can sneak in another IUI before everything closes for Christmas. This time I was randomised to Clomid, so fewer injections but perhaps more side-effects.
They are going to start monitoring me earlier, as I responded very quickly to the stimulation last time. My first ultrasound is next Tuesday, December 1.
Today.
Today is day 3, my endometrium is at 3.05mm, I have no ovarian cysts, my bloodwork looks good, so we have the green light.
We have one last chance for a positive pregnancy result in 2009.
"An exciting day today, yes?" The nurse asked me while taking my blood.
"Well, it is a rainy day" I answered. I didn't have the heart to tell he that I had already taken a home pregnancy test and recieved a negative result. She just seemed so excited, and then so disappointed when she called me at 4:02pm to tell me the result.
But the good thing is we can sneak in another IUI before everything closes for Christmas. This time I was randomised to Clomid, so fewer injections but perhaps more side-effects.
They are going to start monitoring me earlier, as I responded very quickly to the stimulation last time. My first ultrasound is next Tuesday, December 1.
Today.
Today is day 3, my endometrium is at 3.05mm, I have no ovarian cysts, my bloodwork looks good, so we have the green light.
We have one last chance for a positive pregnancy result in 2009.
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
12dp IUI
Here's how my first IUI cycle went down:
CD2-CD7: 75 IU Menopur. Despite having my wonderful husband to do the injections, they get slightly more painful every day. I am grateful that Mel's book recommends a warm compress, which is a great comfort to my sore belly. Frustratingly, both the Menopur and Pregnyl here in Europe come in these fragile glass ampules that need to be snapped in half to access the powder or solution. This makes the mixing process even more fiddly and difficult.
CD8: Right ovary: several small follicles around 8mm. Left ovary, one large follicle at 15.5mm. I am very happy that the dominant follicle turned up on the side with my good tube. We continue with 75 IU Menopur. They call me to come in again the next day.
CD9: Left ovary follicle now measures 18.6mm, my endometrium measures 7.6mm. It is still strange to see my uterus clammed shut, so used to seeing open pictures on the web. They call me that afternoon, want me to do the trigger that night and come in the next morning for the IUI, which means that I must have started ovulating too soon. Trigger at 11pm.
CD10: Our IUI is scheduled for noon, but doesn't happen until 12:40. My poor bladder is so close to bursting it is all I can think about. The midwives leave us waiting in the room to the sounds of "Eternal Flame" and "My Heart will go On". I lay there, trying not to pee on myself, while being forced to listen to Celine Dion. It is not a very romantic insemination.
CD21: Today, 12 days into the two week wait, with my blood test having to wait until CD29. Fertility friend gives me a score of 35/100 for early pregnancy signs.
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So, the timing was off, and my endometrium was thin, but at least we will have IUI number 1 under our belts soon. One more 'n' for the clinical trial, either way. If it's negative, then we'll set up the next IUI, and in the mean time I will get my hair dyed and eat lots of soft French cheeses.
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